


In that big somewhere out there

by pianoforeplay



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-10-23
Updated: 2011-10-23
Packaged: 2017-10-24 21:55:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,349
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/268299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pianoforeplay/pseuds/pianoforeplay
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jared and Jensen are best friends. Then Jensen moves away and Jared comes to a realization.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In that big somewhere out there

**Author's Note:**

> Both characters in this one are underage, but there is absolutely no porn. So. Inspired by [this Telecom ad](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kbtvTuivJu8&feature) and initially posted [here](http://pianoforeplay.livejournal.com/43817.html) on 11/28/10.

Jensen Ackles is Jared's best friend in the whole entire world and has been since as long as he can remember. Some people think it's weird since Jensen is older than Jared by a couple years, but it's never seemed weird to them. They walk to school together and hang out in the afternoons and Jensen stays over at Jared's house every other weekend or so. They play video games and make seriously awesome movies with the camera Jensen got for his thirteenth birthday and dream up all the things they're gonna do when they get older, all the places they'll go and the people they'll meet.

Jensen wants to be a famous baseball player when he grows up and play for the Rangers. Jared wants to design air planes or maybe become an astronaut, he hasn't decided which yet. Maybe both.

"But I'll still see all your games," he promises Jensen. "Even when I'm up in space. I'll have a telescope or a special transmission feed or something. I won't miss a single one."

"N'ah, you don't have to. I'll probably be too rich and famous to notice anyway," Jensen replies. Jared gives him a shove and Jensen answers with one of his own and they fall into the grass, laughing and smiling as knees and elbows bump and knock together. They wrestle, jeans and shirts dirtied with grass stains and sweat. Finally calling a truce, they break apart, panting as they blink up at the bright, summer sun.

"I was joking, you know," Jensen says after a long moment. Jared glances over, squinting to see the smile still curving his friend's lips. "I'll never be too rich and famous to notice you."

"I know," Jared replies, his stomach swooping and warming from the inside. "I'm way too awesome for that."

Jensen laughs, but Jared notices he doesn't deny it.

:::

The Ackles family moves to London three weeks after Jared's fourteenth birthday. It's pretty much the worst day of Jared's life.

Jared stands in his front yard, watching as the Ackles family van pulls away, Jensen staring back at him through the side window, hand pressed to the glass. The van takes a left at the stop sign at the corner and disappears.

Jared's had a passport since his family took a two-week vacation to Canada when he was eleven. Those are the only stamps he has in it; he's never been outside North America. As far as Jared's concerned, Jensen may as well be on his way to a whole different planet.

He doesn't move until his mama lightly rests a hand to the top of his head and says, "C'mon, baby. It's time for dinner."

:::

He gets an e-mail from Jensen three days later.

 _England is weird,_ it says before telling Jared all about jet lag and the tiny cars and the subway system and the big red double-decker buses that crowd the backward streets. Jared tries to picture it, wonders how weird it would feel to move from the one place he's always known to live in a strange country on the other side of the world.

 _We saw a castle the other day_ , Jensen says. _That was pretty awesome. And there's a giant ferris wheel right in the middle of the city. And all the buildings here are so old and royal-looking. Josh says they're all haunted._

Jensen makes it sound like an adventure, makes it sound so much more exciting than boring old Texas.

 _I wish I could show you all this stuff_ , he says at the end. _You should come visit. I bet your parents would let you._

Jared isn't so sure, but the idea is nice all the same. Maybe when he's a little older.

:::

Jared's mom helps him set up a Skype account a few weeks later and he and Jensen talk face-to-face for the first time that afternoon. It's not quite the same as having Jensen right there with him, but it's still better than nothing. He looks the same as Jared remembers, freckles still scattered over the bridge of nose and hair spiked messy and uneven. Jared wonders if he'll start looking less American somehow, if he'll pick up an accent and start looking English.

It's only 3:00 in the afternoon in Texas, but it's already 9:00 in London and Jensen admits he's still trying to get used to the time change.

"It's only six hours," Jared says, teasing.

"Shut up, it's still weird," Jensen replies. "I have to go to bed in, like, two hours and you get to stay up."

"Yeah, I get to stay up and play Call of Duty by myself. Real exciting."

"Dude, did you know they have different outlets over here?" Jensen says then, briefly disappearing from the frame as he leans to his left before returning, holding the head of an extension cord in his hand, two large metal prongs sticking out the end. "We can't plug in any of our old stuff without using converters. It's totally weird."

"Like a whole different country," Jared says, fighting the ache in his gut as he tries for a smile.

Jensen just laughs. "Right? So weird."

:::

It's not like Jared doesn't have other friends. The Ruiz kids live just down the street and Carter and Clinton Debois are both pretty okay even if they like tennis a lot more than Jared will ever understand. And if he ever gets really, truly desperate, there's always his sister to harass.

Once school starts up, he meets more people. He makes the basketball team and tries out for the fall play, starts building a new group of friends to hang out with both at school and on the weekends. And yeah, they're all cool and everything, but it's still not really the same. There's still something missing.

"I have to wear a _uniform_ ," Jensen tells him during one of their weekly Skype sessions.

Jared snorts a laugh. "Seriously? Like a suit and tie and stuff?"

"It's totally lame," Jensen replies, a deep frown twisting his lips. "I'd kill just to wear a pair of jeans."

"I wanna see."

"Dude, no way. I look like a jackass."

"Well, that's nothing new," Jared shoots back, smile widening when Jensen just rolls his eyes. "Come on, man. I'll show you my basketball uniform if you want."

"I've already know what those look like, doofus."

"They changed 'em a little this year. They have more blue now."

"Whatever," Jensen says, still sounding more than a little grumpy. "I can't believe you're actually playing basketball. Don't you have to be tall for that?"

"Fuck you," Jared replies, though he can't help the grin on his face. "I've grown like, two inches since you left."

"Oooh, a whole two inches! Alert the media when you hit five feet, yeah?"

Despite the protests, Jared manages to finally convince Jensen to show him the uniform a few weeks later. Jensen's face is beet red the whole time, but Jared can't really figure out why. It's not that bad. Jensen wears a white button-up shirt with a red and gold striped tie. His pants and suit jacket are a deep blue and they hang off his shoulders and hips in a way Jared finds weirdly startling. He's seen Jensen dressed up before, of course, but maybe it's just been awhile because this time he looks completely different. Older somehow. More mature. Poised and distinguished.

He looks amazing.

"Told you it looks stupid," Jensen grumbles as he hastily exits the frame.

Jared swallows and forces out a laugh. Trying to ignore how awkward it sounds, he says, "Can you imagine them tryin' to get us to wear that shit out here? There'd be riots."

If Jensen responds at all, Jared doesn't hear it, and it's a few more seconds before Jensen returns to the computer, hair ruffled and cheeks still faintly pink. He's in an old Cowboys t-shirt this time, one Jared's seen a million times before, which Jared finds oddly comforting.

"So when's your play again?" Jensen asks then and Jared's more than happy to let the uniform thing drop, along with all the weird thoughts that go with it.

:::

In February, Jared goes out on his first date with Cassie Dearborn.

The whole thing is kind of stupid considering his dad has to drive them to and from the movie theater. And it's not like anything _happens_. It's just a date. Pretty uneventful.

Afterward, he walks Cassie back to her door, his dad waiting in the car.

"You're dad's pretty cool," Cassie says, smiling sweetly as they reach her front porch.

Jared glances back toward the street and shrugs. "Yeah, I guess."

"I liked the movie."

"Yeah, Ryan Reynolds is awesome," Jared agrees.

They stand there for a few more moments in awkward silence and then Cassie lets out a sigh and leans forward, pressing a quick kiss to his cheek. It catches Jared by surprise and he nearly pulls away, but when Cassie meets his eyes again, she's smiling shyly and Jared gets a weird little flutter in his belly.

"I'll, uh. I'll call you later," he says and Cassie smiles and lets herself into her house.

He never tells Jensen about it. Not because he feels ashamed or anything, but it just never really comes up.

:::

With his parents' permission, he stays up late on February 28th to watch the clock tick over past midnight and then makes his first international phone call. There are a lot of numbers involved and he messes it up a couple times, but it finally goes through, the ring on the other end strange and tinny.

Mr. Ackles is the one who answers, his voice a little gruff with sleep. But he relaxes once Jared apologizes and explains and, minutes later, Jensen's groggy voice filters through the line.

"Jay?"

"Happy birthday," Jared says, grinning from ear to ear.

"It's like, 6:00 in the morning."

"I know. But I wanted to be the first."

"You're insane," Jensen grumbles, but Jared can hear the fondness in his tone.

They talk for awhile longer about everything and nothing at all and by the time Jared's mom knocks on the door to tell him to go to bed, Jensen doesn't sound sleepy anymore.

"Hey, uh," Jensen says before Jared can hang up. "Thanks for the call."

It's different from talking on Skype; the inability to see Jensen's face here strangely acute. But it's not all bad. With the phone pressed right up against his ear, Jensen's voice sounds closer than normal. Warmer. If Jared closes his eyes, he can almost pretend Jensen's right there in the room with him.

"I'll talk to you soon," he says and listens to the sound of Jensen's slow breathing for a few moments before cutting the connection.

:::

It's been nine months since Jensen moved to the other side of the world and, in that time, neither of them have once said the words, _I miss you_.

In a weird way, it doesn't really feel necessary. They still talk at least once a week and e-mail daily. Jared still knows everything that's going on in Jensen's life and Jensen knows most of what's going on in Jared's. All the important stuff anyway. With all that communication going on, there's barely any time for them to miss each other.

Or at least that's what Jared tries to tell himself. It nearly works.

:::

He goes to a couple more movies with Cassie and even asks her out to the Spring Dance.

She's pretty and nice and really smart and there isn't a single reason Jared shouldn't want to be her boyfriend, but as she wraps her arms around his neck and they sway back and forth in the middle of the school gym, he can't shake the feeling that she's not what he wants at all.

Because what he wants is thousands of miles away in a country Jared's only seen in movies and read about in books.

The realization rocks him, a blindside punch straight to his solar plexus right there in the middle of a crowded dance floor.

Cassie seems to sense it, pulling back a little to frown up at him in concern. "JT?"

It's the name more than anything that knocks him sideways then As far back as he can remember, he's been JT to everybody but one. To Jensen, he's always been Jay.

But Jensen isn't around anymore except in e-mails and too-short Skype conversations and Jared has no idea when or even if they'll ever see each other again for real. That thought is even more terrifying than the one just before it.

It's like that tree-in-a-forest riddle, he thinks: without Jensen, Jay ceases to exist.

:::

"Dude, I have an idea," Jensen says one weekend afternoon while they're both in the middle of studying.

Jared glances up from his science book, sees Jensen looking back at him through the computer. He's wearing his glasses today and Jared knows it's just because he was too lazy to put in his contacts that morning. Jared won't ever say as much, but Jensen looks really good in his glasses.

Jared stretches slightly, pulls in a slow breath. "Hmm?"

"Do you think your wireless goes up to the roof?"

Frowning, Jared considers it. "I don't know," he confesses after a moment, snapping the lid onto his yellow highlighter. "Never tried it."

"You should. Tonight. Like, around 9:00 or 10:00, maybe. It should be dark by then, right?"

"Yeah, I think so," Jared says, still more than a little intrigued. "You want me to call you from the roof? Why?"

"Just do it, okay? It'll be cool, I promise."

There's a certain gleam in Jensen's eye, a little smirk that makes Jared inexplicably excited and he just laughs and nods. Says, "Yeah, alright. Weirdo."

Hauling his laptop safely up onto the roof without injuring himself or getting found out by either of his parents is pretty tricky, but somehow he manages it. Luckily, the slope isn't too steep and it isn't too cold out. He sits up near the ridge, knees drawn up to act as a table for his computer. It glows in the darkness when he props it open and Jared releases a slow, relieved breath as the connection registers.

It takes a few more minutes for Skype to start working and he taps his feet anxiously as he waits.

When Jensen's face appears on his screen, he has to resist the urge to whoop in victory, a laugh bubbling free instead as he says, "Where are you?"

The screen jostles and shakes as Jensen turns his laptop, showing Jared a stretch of bright city lights against a dark sky and a giant glowing circle hovering close to the full, white moon. It doesn't precisely answer Jared's question, but that hardly matters. It shows enough.

Laughing, Jared turns his own laptop, angling it slightly as he says, "Yeah, well I can see into Katie Greenway's bedroom. Beat that."

He hears Jensen snort a laugh and turns his computer back to catch a glimpse of it. Jensen's cheeks are tinged pink and he's wearing a dark coat. His smile is brighter than Jared's seen it in months.

"Can you see the moon where you are?" Jensen asks and Jared tips his head back up to the sky, nods when he catches the crest of the moon peaking out over a few trees.

"Kinda, yeah."

"Show me."

Jared arches an eyebrow, but doesn't argue. He lifts the laptop again and maneuvers it to face the moon before holding it still. A memory nags at the back of his mind then and his lips twitch into a slow grin as he says, "Dude, we're like the mice in that one movie."

"Huh? What mice?"

Still smiling, Jared rests the computer back on his lap and is pleased to see Jensen looking right back at him through the screen. "The brother and sister mice from that one cartoon," he says. "They're, like, separated or something -- I can't remember why -- but there's that one part where they're singing about the moon and how they can both see it in the same sky or... something like that."

"American Tail," Jensen says, voice softer. "Mackenzie really liked that one."

"Yeah," Jared says and looks up again. He watches the trees sway in the breeze as the clouds slowly work their way across the sky to blanket the moon in a thin haze. They fall into an easy silence, no sound but for the breeze through the trees and the little ambient hum of Jared's computer.

He glances down a few times to see Jensen staring out at his own moon, throat bared and skin red against the cold, smiling faintly. Once or twice, Jensen glances down at his own computer screen and their eyes meet and Jared feels only a few moments of inexplicable embarrassment before Jensen's lips twitch into a broader grin and they both start laughing, warm and comfortable and familiar.

It's only later as Jared's crawling into his bed for the night that he finally remembers the stupid mice song. Smiling, he hums a few lines and falls asleep.

:::

Jared's school year ends a full month and a half before Jensen's.

He gets a second job at RadioShack on top of the one he already has at Best Buy. With the both of them, he manages to usually work a solid forty hours a week and still gets at least one day to call Jensen.

It's Jensen's last year and he still hasn't decided whether or not to stay in London for college or come back to the States. Jared knows what option _he_ prefers, of course, his motives entirely selfish. But he's keeping his mouth shut. It's a tough choice for Jensen to make and he knows it; Jared doesn't want to make it any harder. But he lets Jensen try talking through his choices and offers what little, unbiased advice he can.

One night, after picking Jared up from work, his mom parks the car in the driveway and rests her hand warm atop Jared's knee. Says, "There's something I want to talk about with you, baby."

"Okay," Jared replies, voice wary as he immediately wonders what it is he's done wrong.

But she just smiles at him and shakes her head. "Relax, you're not in trouble. Your father and I have been talking a lot lately. We know how much you miss Jensen and we know you're working hard to save up money to see him."

"Okay," Jared says again, a whole new worry coiling low in his stomach. He hasn't spoken a word about the things he's started to feel for Jensen and doesn't ever plan to, but he's never been any good at hiding his emotions, especially to his mother. And he is not at all prepared to deal with a 'Is There Something You'd Like to Tell Us About' conversation. Not now and maybe not ever. "Is that-- I don't--"

"Well, your birthday's coming up," she continues, interrupting him gently as she gives his knee a pat. "And we were thinking maybe a trip out to see him could be your gift this year. If that's what you want, of course."

Stunned, Jared blinks. He's positive he must've heard that wrong.

"But my birthday's only a few weeks away and that's... really expensive." Several hundred dollars, at least. Jared knows because he's been checking airfare prices for months now, trying to get some idea of how much he needs to save.

But his mother only smiles, head tilting to one side as she lifts her hand to touch his cheek. "If it's what you want, we'll figure it out."

:::

"For how long?" Jensen asks, his smile downright blinding.

Jared's still giddy with the news, can hardly believe it's really happening. "Two weeks!" he answers, practically shouting. "I leave the day after my birthday."

"That's only a few weeks away." Jared nods, heart pounding wildly and wonderfully in his chest. "Holy shit, Jay. Holy _shit!_ "

"So you'll pick me up from the airport, right?"

Jensen breaks into another laugh, eyes crinkling at the corners. "Only if you promise to smuggle in some Dr Pepper. The impostor shit they have here seriously sucks."

"Deal," Jared replies without missing a beat.

:::

They spend the first few days exploring the city. Jensen takes him from one side of London to the other. It's Jared's first time on a subway -- or, _The Tube_ , as Jensen continually corrects him -- and Jared finds it both amazing and a little bit scary. They go to the Tower of London and Madame Tussauds one day and spend another getting lost in Picadilly Circus, wandering around the British Museum and spending an hour terrorizing the pigeons in Trafalgar Square. They hop onto a red tour bus and stare at the people all around, locals and tourists alike as they circle the city.

And it's good, of course. Exciting and amazing.

Some things are different, though. Jensen's different. It's been nearly a year -- only a year -- but Jensen's taller than Jared remembers, his shoulders wider and jawline more defined. He hadn't noticed so much through the filter of the computer screen, but here, face to face and in the flesh, it's completely unavoidable.

He knows he's different, too. He's finally hit a growth spurt, bones and muscles lengthening faster than the rest of him can keep up with. Jensen had noticed it right away, his eyes going comically wide at the airport, right before Jared had all but assaulted him with a hug.

"Jesus, what are you _eating_?" Jensen had said, punching at Jared's arm.

Jared had laughed and fought off a blush before Mrs. Ackles had distracted him with a tight hug of her own. But he didn't miss the way Jensen's gaze stayed on him the whole time, staring at him like he couldn't quite understand what he was seeing.

So some things are different now. It's not surprising considering they've spent an entire year apart.

And, considering the confusing fury of new emotions he's been dealing with, Jared's more surprised by how some things haven't changed at all.

:::

"Jared. Jay, c'mon, man, wake up."

Groaning, Jared blinks his eyes opens, brow furrowed in confusion as he stares up at his best friend's grinning face.

"Jen?"

"Come on," Jensen whispers again as he tugs at Jared's t-shirt. "Be quiet and get dressed. I wanna show you something."

It's Jared's fifth night in London. He's been sleeping on an air mattress on Jensen's floor and it sags as he gets to his feet to put on jeans and shoes. He doesn't think to ask where they're going until Jensen's led him out of the front door and halfway down the street.

"You'll see," is all Jensen says.

It's a cool night, but not cold, the hoodie he'd thrown on more than enough to keep him warm. The streets aren't quite deserted, but it's a near thing, most of the shops closed up with the exception of one or two tiny convenience stores along the way. They walk and they walk and they walk some more until Jared finally gets what they're walking towards.

"The Thames?" he says, hands stuffed deep into the pockets of his sweatshirt.

Offering a small smile, Jensen nods and then motions up ahead. "There."

'There' is a park bench set a few yards away from the railing and it only takes Jared a couple seconds to get why Jensen's taken him out here.

His pace slows and he feels his heart rate kick up a notch as he touches his fingers to the cool wood. The moon isn't full tonight, just a sliver high in the sky, outshone by the London Eye just below it.

Jensen takes a seat on the bench, eyes trained ahead. "So I was gonna tell you this earlier, but I wasn't sure how to bring it up," he says, voice low, but easily audible in the still night air. "I, uh. I finally decided where I'll be going next year."

"Yeah?" Jared says, surprised to find he can form any voice at all given the way his lungs seem to have seized in his chest.

Jensen nods and fidgets, gaze dropping to his hands. Jared watches him carefully, both terrified and anxious to know what comes next. Jensen seems intent on not looking him in the eye and Jared honestly has no idea how he should interpret that.

Finally, Jensen pulls in a sharp breath. Says, "I'm gonna go to Texas Tech. First day is August 28th so I'll be flying back probably a week or so before then."

And then Jared's breath really does leave him. All he can do is stare, hand clenched tight around the wood of the bench before he lets out a rough exhale. "Are you serious?"

Jensen looks wary as he answers with a nod. "I got registered a week or so ago. Right before you flew out here."

"And you didn't _tell me?_ " He can't keep the laughter out of his voice then and Jensen finally smiles a little, relief coloring his expression.

"I told you- I wasn't sure how to bring it up."

Jared laughs, loud and bright as he drops down onto the bench, his elbow knocking into Jensen's arm. "You're an asshole," he says, meaning it completely. And when adrenaline and relief and pure, uncomplicated joy propel him forward to press a kiss to Jensen's lips, he means that completely, too.

Jensen inhales sharply, but he doesn't pull away. His eyes go wide and his cheeks are red and his face is mirroring everything Jared's spent the past few months wanting.

When he leans in again to close those last few centimeters, Jensen meets him halfway. And right there, in the middle of a strange city in a country on the other side of the world from everything Jared's ever known, Jared feels like he's come home.

 

 **end.**


End file.
